Day 1 (and a 1/2) in Austin...

This week is the LIVESTRONG Leader Assembly, where LIVESTRONG Leaders from all over the world will converge on the city of Austin for a 2-day summit meeting. I decided to come a couple of days in advance so that I can enjoy the city, without the kids, without having any obligations, the pressure of having to be anywhere by a certain time and with the freedom to do what I want on a whim.

I arrived yesterday at around 11am and was picked up by my friend, and host for the first half of my trip, Dave. Dave and I were on Young Judaea Year Course and has been a gracious host to me for the past couple of LIVESTRONG Challenges. Since the hotel reservation doesn't start until Wednesday, I decided to accept Dave's offer for free lodging (I did help show another technique for burping his newborn baby). Since I had to get up at 3:30 to make sure that I got the airport shuttle at 5:30am, by the time I arrived, I was still pretty tired.

Dave and his wife, Tish, had redone their backyard, complete with some beautiful stone patios and sitting areas, so after I settled in, met the in-laws and the baby, I retired to the backyard for one of the most serene hours I've had in a long time. The weather was idyllic. I sat down between two oak trees, gave myself a quick mani-pedi, finished my book, Secrets of a Jewish Mother by Jill Zarin, and took a nap. A little bit of lounging and catching up followed.

Because I don't eat pork or shellfish, and that was on the menu, I took a quick jaunt over to Tacqueria Guadelajara, per Dave's suggestion, where I had a hearty meal for less than $7. (Talk about a great deal!)

I got back, chatted for a short time, and then crashed - I was in bed by 9, long before the kids were asleep at home, for sure.

Today I awoke to this:

I KNOW! Can you think of anything better? Seriously! It was beautiful. Dave's going to have a hard time getting rid of me!

A bit of work and I headed out to LIVESTRONG Headquarters because I had an 11:30am appointment with Brandon, over at the Navigation Center (talk about a great resource!). The only problem was that, once I arrived, I learned my appointment is actually tomorrow. D'oh! I took the time to donate the painting I made for LIVESTRONG's walls, as they are bedecked with artwork from Lance's private collection. I do hope The Boss, and the others, enjoy it, and that it fits the decor!


From there, I went on what was looking like a wild goose chase to find a pair of affordable cowboy boots for Thursday's Texas Fun Party. I am on a shoestring budget, to say the least. I first went to a thrift shop 2 blocks from LIVESTRONG HQ, but no dice. However, I was starving, and I realized I hadn't really eaten breakfast. A nice lady int he parking lot who was dropping off stuff for the thrift shop offered some advice as to where I could find some second-hand boots as well as a someplace for lunch. Per Gina's suggestion, I ate at Las Cazuelas and headed on my adventure in boots.

Can you believe! $5 for all THIS! (Oh, minus 1 taco. I ate before I shot.

First, I went to St Vincent de Paul Thrift Store. Then, I went onto Heritage Boots, which didn't have anything under $300, so I had to rule that out. (But, MAN, what beautiful boots!) I hit New Bohemia, per the recommendation of a street vendor selling lovely bracelets recycled from old boots and belts. I spent almost an hour trying on boot after boot, but my feet and legs are still so swollen from chemotherapy, that none of them fit. The girls there suggested that I head to New Brohemia - their men's shop. There, I found 3 pairs of boots that fit, but none of them had that "X" factor. I found a pair for $20 that I was going to settle on, but there was a repair that would have to be made. The gentleman there suggested that I go to the shoe repair shop, the Golden Sandals Shoe Repair to find out how much it would cost.

I love the J.P.!

Well, that suggestion was beshert. Apparently, they refurbish and resell boots from customers that they abandon or decide they no longer want! There, I found a pair, with the thanks of Abel, of ostrich boots that fit me to a TEE - it was as though they were custom made for me (though, they were custom made for someone else). He gave me a great deal on them, and I'm picking them up tomorrow.

No day in Austin is complete without libation from Juan Pelota's Cafe, so, victorious, I swung by my favorite watering/cycling hole to recharge myself, my phone and my iPod.

Once I was done with that, I was off to meet my old friend, Bill, at Rudy's BBQ. While this was a repeat stop, it had to be done. Rudy's BBQ is ridiculously good. So, I met Bill with his 2 daughters and we caught up, laughed and enjoyed the evening over turkey, brisket, and, an Austin staple...

Thus ends my first full day in Austin. Here's to many more!

It's the small victories...

The past several weeks have been relatively boring, I must say, with relation to my cancer survivorship. With chemo over, surgeries almost done, etc, I struggle as I straddle the line of being bed-ridden and being "better." I mean, what the hell does that word, "better," mean anyway? Technically, I'm totally better than I was when I had my last bout with chemotherapy. But does that mean that I'm "better?" I feel better than I did a month ago, but I don't feel better, or the same, as I did prior to the cancer.

But enough philosophizing - I can do that ad nauseum. Onto celebration.

I can officially declare that I have more hair than my father.

Point of reference

I also have more hair than My Rock. (Although he cheats. He started to grow his hair longer, so while I have a full head of longish stubble, he has a fringe of longer hair.) But he's got more greys than me, so neener-neener.

Here's the latest!

What? I have a cowlick? Can my hair pick ONE direction?

On a completely different note, I decided to take some artwork, a phrase from my friend, Nikol's husband, and put together a Zazzle shop. Take a gander! Percentage of all sales will be donated to LIVESTRONG, Crickett's Answer for Cancer or both!

Do I have enough cancer for you?

This week I've been struck by the notion that some survivors look at other survivors and judge them by how bad their cancer was. Now, I will never deny that depending on the diagnosis, other people's journeys will be more, or less, traumatic and challenging than others. Just like pregnancies, some women experience easier or more difficult pregnancies. However, pregnant is pregnant, no matter how you got that way and what your journey was. It's still a life-changing event, regardless of outcome.

It's the same thing with cancer. There is no such thing as "good cancer" or "bad cancer." There are good and bad prognoses, there are subjectively more difficult treatment plans, etc.

And yet, some people feel the need to look at some of us and say, "Well, you didn't suffer for as long as I did, so your cancer 'doesn't count,'" to which I say, "Bullshit."

That sounds harsh. I know. That sounds incredibly insensitive. But the minute you belittle another person's cancer experience, you kind of negate any willingness to be open to your plight.

Having cancer doesn't automatically turn us into saints. Jerks are simply jerks with cancer. Yes, there is the chance that being faced with something as significant and mortal as cancer may prompt us to rethink our approach to life, etc. But sometimes, it really doesn't.

The notion of judging another person's cancer as being "less than" is so insulting, too, because it presumes that the person who has the "lesser" cancer isn't aware that others have gone through hell and back. I am very well aware, for example, that I am surrounded by people who have endured things for many more months and years, who have had chemotherapy for much longer, etc, and that their cancers have a much higher mortality rate than mine. But that doesn't make me, or anyone else, any less of a survivor, and that doesn't mean that I'm less qualified than someone else to say, "I'm a survivor," have an opinion on the matter or work for the cause.

My opinion? Accept that everyone has their own cancer journey, and that for that individual and their family, it is (hopefully) the most disruptive, challenging and difficult experience of their lives, no matter the time span, prognosis, etc.

Perhaps, rather than reserve judgement about another person's treatment and cancer, leave it at "I have cancer," and provide support. Or walk away.

A blanket statement: If I have ever made anyone feel that I've made their cancer experience seem insignificant, my sincerest apologies. I hope I've never done that.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Not everyone can ride a bike like Lance Armstrong. Not everyone can run a marathon. But we can all do something to fight cancer on Sunday, April 29. For those that choose to run, walk or ride their bikes, gather at the Trinity Corners Shopping Center on Westchester Avenue in Pound Ridge, NY to participate in the 3rd Annual ROCK the RIDE & RUN.

"Although I prefer to ride my bike, I know so many people that want to do something to join the fight against cancer, so 3 years ago, the kids and I put this event together," Rica Mendes, LIVESTRONG Leader explains. "We wanted to make sure that everyone - regardless of their athletic ability - had the chance to participate and help us raise awareness and funds in the fight against cancer."

This year is different for Mendes for a number of reasons. First, she has added a Virtual Participant category - this way, you register for $36, and you can choose to join the ROCK the RIDE & RUN anywhere - your home, your gym, the beach - anywhere in the world - and raise funds and awareness. Second, this is her first year participating as a cancer survivor.

Only 3 months after last year's ROCK the RIDE & RUN, Mendes got the word that she had breast cancer.

"I was floored. It came out of left field completely. Fortunately, I was already established within the LIVESTRONG network that it was much easier for me to build my support system. But it was still a struggle. I can only imagine how much more terrifying it is for people who don't already have that system in place.

"That's why this event, and support for the Lance Armstrong Foundation is even more important to me now. I don't ever want to hear about a cancer fighter feeling lost and like they have no place to go for any kind of resource - emotional, practical, physical, etc. LIVESTRONG does not discriminate - if you have cancer, you're automatically part of the family. It's just a matter of figuring out what we can do to help you and your family through your fight."

Registration is now open for the ROCK the RIDE & RUN. Go to http://www.active.com/5k-race/pound-ridge-ny/3rd-annual-rock-the-ride-and-run-benefiting-livestrong-2012 between now and April 28, 2012 at 11:59pm EST in order to register.


If you cannot attend, but you would like to contribute to Rica's fight against cancer, please feel free to make a donation at http://laf.convio.net/goto/RicaRocksAustin2012.

It's a beautiful day...

It's not secret that I hate winter. I make no bones about it. If I had my druthers, I'd be living in Austin, Jerusalem or San Francisco - cities where winter is but a passing thought - nothing more than a novelty. That's not to say I'm not a proud New Yorker - any Bostonian can tell you that I'm very proud of my pinstripes and being from the empire state. But I loathe cold weather.

So, days like this weekend ordinarily have me jazzed. I'm out on the bike, I'm out with the kids, I'm outside.

But not this year.

As much as I've been jonzing to get back on the bike, get back into a normal physical routine of any kind, part of me is scared. Well, scared is the wrong word. Apprehensive. Of what? I don't know. I've always been a bit of a tomboy. I've always loved getting down and dirty, getting physical. I've never been afraid to sweat.

And yet, I find myself coming up with every excuse not to go outside.

Perhaps last night's grilled dinner on the deck was my first step outside of my house since the cancer diagnosis. But my doctors have me so nervous about straining myself too much, causing another infection, pushing it, going against my natural instinct to ignore pain and discomfort and power through things that I don't trust myself.

I don't trust that mowing the lawn isn't too much work. I don't trust that doing the desperately needed chicken pick of trash collection (months of garbage being poorly tossed into the garbage cans, raccoons raiding bags, etc, has left bits and pieces of junk on my property) is going to pull the muscle just so, and cause injury.

But I want to go outside. I want to romp. I want to garden. I want to do all the fix-it jobs around the house again.

And I want to ride again.

At what point does the patient truly become the survivor?

Meling Pot Wrap Up and Take THAT stupid cancer...

Well, last night at the Melting Pot in Darien was a blast! We were joined by a former colleague from my agency days, and a nice group of people who came in to celebrate life and contribute to LIVESTRONG with their meals and raffle tickets. My daughter, bless her little soul, kicked butt selling raffle tickets! She collected $125! We're waiting for the final tally and check from the event from The Melting Pot, but I'm guessing the event brought it a total of $350-500! Not bad for a night out on the town!

Oh, and FU chemotherapy... ask me if it's that time of the month. Yes, it is. HA! Thought you killed it... but you didn't! (Yes, this is going to be the only time where you will EVER see me declare that it's that time of the month.

Understand, in my case, it's a cause for celebration - there was a good chance that it would never come again. You see, chemotherapy is known for killing a woman's ability to have a menstrual cycle. I didn't have that problem until my last round. I was kind of bummed, actually, as Dr. Tepler remarked that I was one of a few patients he's had that didn't have any interruption - until the last. I was sure that was it for me, especially now that I'm on the hormonal therapy. But, leave it to my stubborn body, it's back. Which is good. I think. Not that I'm chomping at the bit to expand the family any time soon - but it's something that I seriously didn't even want to deal with/address/cope with on top of everything else. I know we have to look at things in a couple of years, as an oopharectomy (talk about an SAT word!) is recommended with my BRCA status, but, despite my doctor's regular urging to make a decision now, I know I have some time and I'm going to take it.

So, cancer, how's that for a big PBTHTHTHTHTHTHTTHTHTHTHTH!

Of course, now I have to deal with having my period again... I hear there are some great products out on the market for that kind of thing...

A LIVESTRONG Leader's work is never done...

Despite the fact that I was under the weather, work to do and the Fondue-Raiser tonight, the call of duty came in the form of a request from Gillian Neff of News 12 Connecticut.

See a special report and interview where I talk about my breast cancer experience, LIVESTRONG and my upcoming surgery (talk about a fun topic to talk about on TV!) this Saturday at 6:30 am, 10:00 am, 1:30 pm and on Sunday at 12:30 am, 6:30 am, 10:00 am, 12:30 pm, 4:00 pm, and on Monday at 2:30 am on News Channel 12 (only in Connecticut).

In the meantime, come down to the Melting Pot for the Fondue-Raiser in Darien, CT! We'll be there at 5:00 pm!