Facing Chemo: The Pros

I got word yesterday that I'm going to need chemo. I don't know if I'm going to lose my hair, for sure, but with my luck...

So, I'm putting together a "pro" list of chemo...

• I will finally make Chabad, the ladies in Meah She'arim that spat at me, and all the Orthodox Rabbis that taught me that once I was married I had to cover my hair proud that I'm finally covering my head, wearing a shaidel, a big hat and/or a scarf, with not a single strand of natural hair will be seen in public
• No such thing as a "bad hair day"
• I won't have to worry about how much it costs to get my hair done
• I won't have to pluck my eyebrows
• A valid reason to buy those ridiculously lush false eyelashes that all the Real Housewives wear
• I'll be my own case study for how amazing Mary Kay's skin care and makeup is
• I can impersonate my cousin if I get a long, deep auburn/brown wig and chemo makes me lose a lot of weight
• My hair won't get smushed under my bike helmet anymore
• The kids and I can dress as the Three Stooges for Halloween, and I can be Curly
• APPLE FRITTERS (an homage to Lance Armstrong)
• Can you get a Handicapped Sticker for chemo?
• If I'm lucky, I fall on the weight-loss side of chemo, not the weight gain

And, I can wear wigs... I already have these from various costumes:

I have this in glow-in-the-dark filament!

I have a MUCH better version of this one

And this one from my Morticia
Lillian Vernon costume

But... now, if I lose my hair, I can wear THESE...

Flash to 3rd Grade!

Bratty Punk

Severe Israeli

My inner goth

If I get the new boobs, I can pose on a plane's wing
(unless my Rock gets to it and drops
a bucket of nails through it.)

Pitti Sing! "Three Little Maids Are We!"

Last, but not least, if I am afraid of the dark!