One way or another...

I love Blondie. She was blonde, gorgeous, feminine but lethally fierce. She was untouchable. Would that we were all that indestructible.

But we aren't. This medical parasite keeps eating its way into our lives and silently strikes harder and faster the more chances it gets. Cancer is voracious. Unless you put a stop to it right away, it seems to not relent until it has consumed you.

My chemo buddy, whom I've mentioned had a recurrence and metastases, took a terribly sudden turn during the Christmas holiday. I heard from her sister that the cancer has seemingly spread. Discussions of hospice are arising.

There is nothing more than I'd like to do than to visit her, but we, her friends, are being asked to remain supportive from afar.

How can we? What can we do from a distance while she is in a hospital bed? I want to hold her hand, make her smile, tell her jokes, reminisce with our friend and give her comfort. From afar, what I can I do? Send her a card? Flowers? We're even advised not to call!

I've begged her family to reach out, to build a support network - for her and for themselves - but they refuse. If I could drag Doug Ulman personally to her bedside and Chris Brewer to her family's home, I would. But they don't want the support.

I find this terribly perplexing. Why would they want to fight this battle without anyone there? Without any support or guidance? Is it denial? I don't get that sense. Is it fear? Fear of accepting my friend's illness? I could understand that with her first bout, but this is a different animal.

I know that I'm the LIVESTRONG Leader, but that doesn't mean that I have all the answers. Aside from praying, "sending good vibes," and continuously asking if it's ok to visit yet, what more can I do?

Pound Ridge’s Mendes Continues Cancer Crusade (from The Daily Lewisboro)

Neighbors04/21/12

Pound Ridge’s Mendes Continues Cancer Crusade

by Bob Dumas (email) 

• Email

Rica Mendes oversees the Pound Ridge Rock the Ride and Run to help raise money for Lance Armstrong's LIVESTRONG Foundation.

Photo credit: Bob Dumas

POUND RIDGE, N.Y. - Breast cancer survivor Rica Mendes, a longtime Pound Ridge resident who currently resides in South Salem, recently had the opportunity to join 500 people from around the world to discuss the ongoing global fight against cancer.

Mendes, a leader for the cancer-awareness and service group LIVESTRONG, which was founded by Lance Armstrong, met in Austin, Texas with LIVESTRONG partners, advisors and constituents. She advocated for the 28 million around the world living with cancer and brought awareness about cancer survivor services to the Westchester area.

“As a LIVESTRONG leader, I’m always organizing local events like the upcoming Rock the Ride and Run on Sunday, April 29 in Pound Ridge that brings people together to raise funds for the Foundation," Mendes said. “We try to raise awareness of the services [LIVESTRONG] provides to anyone affected by cancer and help address the needs of cancer survivors at home and around the world.”

Mendes said the Austin event was not only like a family reunion, but it allowed the members to “plug back into the bigger picture and to learn more about what LIVESTRONG is doing in 2012 and the future.”

At the State of the Foundation lunch, participants listened to a speech from Doug Ulman, the group’s president and CEO, and were then surprised with a visit from Armstrong. The renowned cyclist and cancer survivor talked about what LIVESTRONG has planned at the Foundation for 2012, which includes implementing international anti-stigma campaigns.

“The opportunity for all of us to meet face to face with one another is rare, and we embraced it,” Mendes said. “To be able to engage with LIVESTRONG staff, as well as veteran Leaders and fundraisers, social media influencers and our partners was invaluable. It’s the first time that we were able to workshop as a group and I can’t wait to do it again next year.”

Mendes said she now feels even more prepared and equipped to work for those touched by cancer in the Westchester and Fairfield areas.

“In addition to programs like LIVESTRONG at the Y, which was just approved for the Wilton YMCA, LIVESTRONG-supported programs are just as strong for the family members who support the cancer fighter,” she said. “Camp Kesem (at Columbia University), for example, provides a free week of recreation and support to the children of cancer fighters. There are so many fantastic resources that are becoming more and more available and I look forward to helping connect cancer fighters with all that LIVESTRONG has to offer.”

The foundation provides help to individuals and families facing cancer by phone at            855-220-7777      , online and in person at the LIVESTRONG Cancer Navigation Center in Austin. Services are free of charge.