Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Facing Chemo: The Pros

I got word yesterday that I'm going to need chemo. I don't know if I'm going to lose my hair, for sure, but with my luck...

So, I'm putting together a "pro" list of chemo...
  • I will finally make Chabad, the ladies in Meah She'arim that spat at me, and all the Orthodox Rabbis that taught me that once I was married I had to cover my hair proud that I'm finally covering my head, wearing a shaidel, a big hat and/or a scarf, with not a single strand of natural hair will be seen in public
  • No such thing as a "bad hair day"
  • I won't have to worry about how much it costs to get my hair done
  • I won't have to pluck my eyebrows
  • A valid reason to buy those ridiculously lush false eyelashes that all the Real Housewives wear
  • I'll be my own case study for how amazing Mary Kay's skin care and makeup is
  • I can impersonate my cousin if I get a long, deep auburn/brown wig and chemo makes me lose a lot of weight
  • My hair won't get smushed under my bike helmet anymore
  • The kids and I can dress as the Three Stooges for Halloween, and I can be Curly
  • APPLE FRITTERS (an homage to Lance Armstrong)
  • Can you get a Handicapped Sticker for chemo?
  • If I'm lucky, I fall on the weight-loss side of chemo, not the weight gain
And, I can wear wigs... I already have these from various costumes:
I have this in glow-in-the-dark filament!
I have a MUCH better version of this one
And this one from my Morticia
Lillian Vernon costume

But... now, if I lose my hair, I can wear THESE...
Flash to 3rd Grade!
Bratty Punk
Severe Israeli
My inner goth
If I get the new boobs, I can pose on a plane's wing
(unless my Rock gets to it and drops
a bucket of nails through it.)
Pitti Sing! "Three Little Maids Are We!"
Last, but not least, if I am afraid of the dark!


  1. Oh, I love the Bratty Punk one. :D

  2. Hello,
    I have a question about your blog. Please email me!

  3. Ohh I want the purple one!!


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