Psych!

This is what I think my docs were doing since the sonogram done on my right breast on Friday. This is how I picture them deciding whether or not to move forward with the chemo this morning, and how they decided who would call me.

As last night's blog explained, I was supposed to start chemo this morning. The only thing that might have interfered was if the slight redness of the right breast and the swelling was a sign of infection. So I had a sonogram done Friday, which showed no problems. My last conversation with Dr. Nordberg was that the sonogram looked good and it didn't appear to be an infection, but it would be Dr. Tepler's call. I called the doctor's office all day yesterday to confirm that chemo was starting this morning. I spoke to staff. Left messages, etc. Finally, I was told if I didn't hear back, to assume chemo was on. This was late in the afternoon. I was assured a call back from the doctor that evening. I'd already taken the morning steroids, and since I hadn't heard back from the doctor, I had to assume chemo was on as scheduled, and I took the evening steroids.

I spent a huge chunk of the night on the internet chatting with the (amazing) Jody Schoger, fellow LIVESTRONG Leader and sherpa extraordinaire, about the chemo. I spent the rest of the night fretting. I didn't get to sleep until 3:30 am. I got up at 6:15 am, as I was getting picked up at 7:15. I got my son out the door, and was just about to hop into the shower when I decided to check my Blackberry. I like to delete morning emails about weather and traffic as soon as they come in so that I know new email is much more important.

At that point, I see an email from Dr. Nordberg, my plastic surgeon. In short, he apologized but wanted to let me know chemo was being postponed. The email was stamped at 6:15 am.

I was livid. Why is my plastic surgeon telling me my chemotherpy session is cancelled? Why didn't my oncologist call me? Or email me? And why did no one tell me anything until after 6:00 am? My oncologist was supposed to call me back the afternoon before!

In a sense, as angry as I am, I'm more disappointed that simple, administrative issues are interfering and angering me with a practice in which I was very confident. The oncology office was, bar none, confidence building. I didn't have a flicker of worry about whether or not it was the write practice for me. But can you imagine if I hadn't gotten that email? The office staff still had me down for chemo! Had I shown up, they would have administered the chemo!

So I was 'roided up enough that I could have lifted Andre the Giant over my head, I was jittering and shaking all day, and my entire week has been thrown off.

I'd finally gotten to the point where I was as ready as I'd ever be, but, then the doctors completely missed the boat! And, even now, the oncology practice has yet to return my call and actually rescheduling my chemo!